Over the last 10 or so years, I have been fortunate enough to work for, with and alongside a handful of highly successful entrepreneurs, real estate investors and developers, business coaches and internet entrepreneurs. I have networked a lot, learned a ton and grown even more. When you follow around and spend quality time with successful people and leaders, you begin to notice patterns, often emulating them to expedite your road to success. Having had the opportunity to fetch coffee, travel the USA, share stages and sit in on influential meetings, I have gained substantial experience and knowledge along my journey. The following are 7 powerful lessons that I felt would be both relatable and practically applied by all.
1. Say “Hello” and connect
One of the greatest skills I believe every human being should develop, let alone entrepreneurs, is the art of connecting and networking via a simple “hello”. In a world where we are more socially connected than ever before, I feel that there is a rapid increase in those who are actually disconnected. People are Facebook “friends” but don’t say hi to each other when they pass by in the hallways at work. People “follow” others on Instagram but have no photos together of the memories they’ve shared. People “tweet” at celebrities on Twitter but won’t call their best friend to wish them success on their new business venture. People are “connected” on LinkedIn but will never refer business to each other. What’s the point of being so technologically connected if we feel so alone when we go to sleep?
We never know who we are sitting next to at a coffee shop, standing next to in an elevator or walking next to in an airport, which could all change with a simple “hello”. What if that person next to you in the coffee shop happens to be your future Wife’s brother? What if that person in the elevator is your future business’s investor? And, what if that person next to you in the airport is simply someone to tell you a joke and cheer you up on that day?
At one point in our lives, everyone close to us (besides our Mother), was a stranger. We took a chance, began to communicate, established a connection and the rest is history. I believe that everyone has their own philosophy about their social media avatars and online presence – hookup/date, sell something, buy something, simply connect and share memories, etc. When we have no agendas or motives as to why we say “hello”, we often find the simple, hidden pleasures of life, such as a smile, a handshake or maybe even your best new friend. From my experience, if we create a connection out of thin air with someone (pun intended),simply because synchronistically the universe has us on the same metal bird moving through the sky at 500 mph, flying from Los Angeles to Boston on a redeye at 9:35pm on a Tuesday night sitting next to each other, we feel more soulfully connected. In a world where we feel “naked” without our cell phones and “bored” if we have to wait 5 minutes for the bus with nothing to do, taking the time to say “hello” and connect with someone new, just might change your life. It has for me, and continues to do so, over and over again.
“Everyone communicates, few connect.” – John Maxwell
2. Always remain a student
The greatest mentors I have ever had are still students to this day; even if they have mastered their craft, dominated their industries, traveled the world and accumulated millions in riches. Along my journey, one of the keys to success I have discovered, is the idea of always remaining a student. A few years back at a Network Marketing convention,, I had the opportunity to chat with one of my role model leaders in the industry. I read his book, studied his videos and went to every event I could when I was in his area. He told me that as long as I remained a student throughout my life, I would continue to grow and succeed, because “when you ripe, you rot.” That one statement changed the way I look at and feel about remaining a student my whole life. Essentially, when you stop growing, you start dying.
When I started my yoga practice about 8 years ago after breaking my tailbone, I realized how much insight and wisdom I could learn from the ancient philosophies behind yoga. There is a calm, peaceful vibe that fills the air when you walk into a warm studio, which is usually followed by an empowering mantra delivered by the teacher, who is always still a life student. I had never heard the relationship between student and teacher put so eloquently until one day an instructor started class with, “If you want to learn something, read about it. If you want to understand something, write about it. If you want to master something, teach it.”
A great way remain a student in our day-to-day lives is to see every situation and each encounter with someone as a learning experience. What if all they did was provide you with one tip, one story or one formula that changes your life? While it may not come so naturally to all of us, it is certainly a lesson that will assist you in progressing in your life.
“When you ripe, you rotten.” – Ray Kroc
3. Be the quiet one in the room
Growing up, I was always the class clown which would get me in a bit of trouble…learning lessons, right? Fast forward to today, I often surround myself with people who are smarter and more experienced than me (another lesson later in this post), so I do my best to be quiet and listen. We often witness people trying to impress others by consistently making jokes, talking just to talk and rarely attempting to learn from others to improve themselves (if this is you, read on).
After sitting in quite a few meetings with my real estate mentor, I noticed that he rarely ever spoke and if he did, it was short and powerful. I asked him his reasoning to which he responded, “I always like to listen much more than I speak, this way I can hear everyone’s perspective, learn from them and then respond thoughtfully to add value to the conversation…We have 2 eyes, 2 ears and 1 mouth – this is so we observe 4 times as much as we speak.” So simple, yet so profound. At the young age of 21, I had never heard such sage advice. When I thought about it, it made total sense – I was a recent college grad surrounded by multi-millionaire real estate investors and developers, why would I be the one talking when I could be doing all the learning?!
Now when I attend masterminds, networking events and seminars, I am there to learn, take notes and meet people who can share wisdom and experience with me. This one tip has completely changed the way I think about learning from others and shifted my focus to talking less but saying more.
“The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.”
4. Surround yourself with people that are smarter than you
They say that you become an average of the 5 people you spend the most time around, so I guess you should choose wisely! Up until 4 years ago, I always spent a lot of time with people that I considered “good friends” and would put myself in situations that were “comfortable”. When I began taking my entrepreneurial career more seriously, I started to notice that these “good friends” were not as close as I had once believed them to be. As a Network Marketing rookie, I didn’t really have a clue on how to build a successful business other than with a lot of excitement and telling all of my friends that they “had to” join me because we were “going to the moon!” Almost every single one of these “good friends” laughed and joked at me, telling me I was a part of a big “pyramid scheme” and that I was wasting my time, money and effort. It became a little uncomfortable for me to be with them as I was really starting to invest my time in my future and stray from the norm, like most entrepreneurs experience at some point or another.
As more and more friends began to doubt me, laugh at me and post hateful comments on my social media, I started to spend more time with fewer friends that had the same beliefs and vision as I did. Like my parents always taught me, go for quality over quantity! We all have a few different groups of friends, and it is important that we prioritize who we spend our most valuable commodity, time, with. Maybe those people we once saw a few times a week, we now see once or twice a month because you feel they don’t have your vision (which they probably don’t!). I quickly realized that the more time I spent with like-minded individuals, the more I was inspired and creating results in my business. Then I attended my first Network Marketing convention, 6,000+ other people that were all inspired to be learning, growing and chasing their dreams as I was! This is when it all changed for me. I was proud to be the bull that was leaving the herd of cows.
Looking back on that first year as a business owner, it certainly was not easy, but it set the pace for my future as a confident, successful, entrepreneur with a vision. I truly believe that one of the main purposes of life here on this planet is to learn and grow to new heights – doing so around people who only want to bring you down (because they are already below you) is not a small task. It is extremely crucial that if you are going to succeed, in any field, that you surround yourself with people who can take you higher and empower you to become the best version of YOU possible!
“If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.” – James Watson
5.Be honest
My parents taught me this one. In my opinion, honesty is not the best policy, it is the ONLY policy. I cannot think back to a time in my life where not telling the truth was the right decision. Honestly, I used to lie a lot. Why? Well, that’s a long story but here it is in a nutshell; as a class clown and rebel, I often found myself in trouble. I hated being in trouble so to avoid it, I would lie. Sometimes so deeply that I would forget to cover up all my tracks and my lies would get exposed – the absolute worst feeling.
As I grew older and matured, I began to realize that when you are dishonest, the only person that you are lying to, is yourself. I would get in binds, run late for work, not complete all my tasks and sometimes sleep in late, but I was always honest with my bosses and mentors that it was simply water under the bridge. Sometimes I would have to stay late to finish work or make up for lost time, but this was fair as I was learning the ropes of being a responsible adult. Although it may seem easier at times to lie and get away with something, the universe ALWAYS brings back to you what you put out. Living with that pit of lying in your stomach is so much heavier than the freedom that telling the truth will bring you.
I believe that our world has developed into a society of lies and cover-ups because we lack vulnerability. We are expected to be so perfect, that with all this pressure it creates an environment where we feel we must lie and cheat to retain this “perfect” image. It is unfortunate that children grow up today being told that vulnerability is a major weakness, when in reality, it is actually our greatest strength. When you are honest and vulnerable with those around you, you become open and can create a line of communication where people can see and feel the real you. If we live a life of honesty beginning with ourselves, we will spread love and honesty back unto this world, thereby creating a happier, healthier and more abundant planet!
“Honesty is an expensive gift, don’t expect it from cheap people.” – Warren Buffett
6. Read, Read, Read
When I was young, my Father always used to make me read before doing any extracurriculars – soccer, TV, games, guitar, etc. He immigrated to the United States in his late 20’s and English is his second language. One of his biggest regrets is that he didn’t read as much as he could when he first came to the US so reading English is a slow and uncomfortable process for him. He didn’t care what I read – Sports Illustrated, mysteries, science, novels, he just wanted me to read so I would become a fast reader for my future education. I naturally rebelled because I didn’t see the value in it when it was standing in my way of doing things that were more fun. Later on, I would realize how much the simple pleasure of reading would profoundly impact my life. Interestingly enough, all of my mentors have been huge readers – some read a book a month while others absorb 3 a week!
It wasn’t until I was 21 and starting my first true business endeavor as an entrepreneur, that I really believed in the value of reading. Up until that point, I had always read for other people – school and my Father. I remember it like it was yesterday when I went to my first convention for Network Marketing and heard Darren Hardy speak. By that point, I had read Think and Grow Rich and a few other personal development books, but never really studied the information – in one eye, out the other. When Darren said on stage that the average millionaire in America reads 2-3 books a month, where the average American reads 1 book a year, I knew that reading was exactly what I required! I knew that I didn’t want to be like the general population, which I suppose is why we all are enthralled by entrepreneurship, but I really began to see the value as I dove deeper into the world of personal development and business books.
Enjoying watching myself grow and think differently, I began to consume book after book, that was the exciting part – I finally believed and saw the value in reading! As I worked my way through different internships, jobs and other business opportunities, I noticed that all of my mentors had one major trait in common – they all read, a lot. About 3 years ago, I began to create consistency in my reading schedule, I would read 30 minutes a day and sometimes even more. I became really content with staying home on weekend nights, making myself some dinner and diving into a great book. Reading taught me to be alone and enjoy it! Nowadays, I read for about an hour a day and whenever I am on the go or in the car, I try to listen to audiobooks, immersing myself in as much content as possible. I’d say i’m pretty obsessed with reading now!
“The first thing that reading teaches, is how to be alone.” – Jonathan Franzen
7. Have fun
Way too many times in my life I have had friends and family members tell me about how much money they make but how dead they feel. Life is not meant to be an on-switch, go to school, get good grades, get a good job, make some money, pay the bills, retire, go on a few vacations and then hit the off-switch. Life is meant to explore, experience and be full of excitement. Our current education system sets us up to go into the workplace and be an employee, which there is absolutely nothing wrong with! I feel the real problem is that there is so much pressure on young adults to get a job that will pay them the most rather than lead to their greatest happiness.
In my experience, we all work the best, are most productive and are highly creative when we are having fun. Of course there are going to be times in our lives, especially as entrepreneurs, that not 100% of what we are doing is the most soul fulfilling work, but that’s all a part of being a business owner. We all have areas that make us “tick”, that light us up and in which we lose track of time, often forgetting to eat or sleep – this is the area we should be working in! My advice is that each of us continue to pursue jobs, opportunities and experiences until we find our true passion where we feel the most alive and then find a way to monetize it (yes, we all require money to live in this world).
Lastly, I believe that a large part of having so much fun while “working” is surrounding yourself with people that empower you and embrace you! There is no better feeling than walking in (or calling in if you work from home) to your team meeting on Monday morning and being excited to kick off another week filled with growth and fun, doing what you love. One of my mentors told me that many years ago he left a job paying him $250k as the Senior Vice President in which he felt he had no life, no soul and barely got to see his family. He began a business in a niche which was his passion, taking him a few years to get off the ground, now taking home in a few million a year in profit. The point is NOT that you should go out and seek to make more money than you are making now, as money offers options – not happiness, but to find a job or opportunity that will lead you to feeling soulfully fulfilled every single day of your life!
“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.” – Katharine Hepburn
Elan
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